


My Head Wasn't Wired For This

by Aston (AstonT)



Series: Joshler [3]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - High School, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Vent fic?, agender tyler, mentioned misgendering, not by name anyway, pete isn't really mentioned, sorry., supportive family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstonT/pseuds/Aston
Summary: This is literally just fluff that I wrote because dysphoria sucks and I wanted a cute fic dealing with it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay just to get this out of the way so someone doesn't jump down my throat about it later.   
> Dysphoria is different to everyone who experiences it. The experience in this story is close to my own.   
> If you find issue with how I've portrayed the experience with Dysphoria, kindly leave because I don't like people who make others feel like their experiences aren't important because it doesn't fit someone else's.   
> Now that that is out of the way, I hope you enjoy the story.

It's not often that a day comes up where Tyler feels like utter shit about themself. But when it does come up, it hits hard and knocks the breath out of them for the first few seconds.

Their family and friends usually noticed immediately when it did happen. 

Their family could tell easily when they got up in the morning how they felt - it was something that was both a blessing and a curse.

But honestly, it didn't bother Tyler all that much that they could tell. They just didn't like the concerned looks they'd receive from everyone before the day was over. Well, given they actually left the house or felt up to socialization.

They didn't usually, if they were honest.

But when it came to school, there wasn't much of a choice but to suck it up and suffer through the day feeling like utter shit.

* * *

Loose clothes were Tyler's best friend on dysphoric days - and any other day they felt like being comfortable instead of trying to look nice. 

Mondays were almost always the worst when their dysphoria showed up. They weren't sure why, maybe because it was another added stress on top of having to get used to facing school again after a weekend of not having to be socially presentable at all times.

And so, when Tyler woke up on Monday one day during September to the familiar discomfort of nothing feeling right, they nearly started crying.

Instead, though, they just pushed themself out of bed and disappeared to get a shower, taking longer to scrub at their skin in hopes of taking some of the discomfort away.

Not that it ever worked, honestly.

Tyler bumped into Jay on the way back to their room to get dressed, towel wrapped tightly around themself.

Jay seemed to know immediately and darted downstairs.

When Tyler joined their family for breakfast, they were dressed in a pair of skinny jeans that sat right at their hips but didn't accentuate them, and a loose, plain black t-shirt - the only color in the outfit was the floral vans that were resting on Tyler's feet.

No one asked if they were okay, because they knew the answer.

As soon as they had finished breakfast, they moved to grab their bag and leave for school, their mom stopping them before they made it out the door.

"Call if you need to come home, Ty," she said softly.

Tyler gave a small smile and nodded before darting out the door and heading for school, headphones in and music blaring.

It was the only thing that Tyler had found that lessened the dysphoric feeling - drowning themself in music instead of their own feelings.

* * *

"Ty, baby.." Josh said softly when Tyler joined them at a table in the art room that morning. 

The others seemed worried, too, but none of them spoke, letting Josh handle the situation.

Tyler gave a small smile in answer. "Hi."

Josh shook his head, handing Tyler one of his hoodies. "Jay text and told me," he said softly.

Tyler pulled the hoodie on, curling in on themself and reveling in how nice it felt to be surrounded by something that smelled like their best friend.

Honestly, it felt like love, despite their hesitant disbelief of the concept beyond that of familial love.

* * *

School was the worst of it. Misgendering was a bitch on a normal day, but on a day like this, it made Tyler want to go curl up and cry themself sick. 

And that's how Patrick found Tyler curled up in a corner of one of the bathrooms - gender neutral, at least, Patrick thought.

At least they weren't crying this time.

Once school ended, Josh drug Tyler along with him and their friends to a cafe.

Having a cup of hot chocolate in front of them was a bit more centering than most other things - their friends had learned a long time ago, when all this really got bad, that warm drinks seemed to settle them slightly. They also learned that it was because Tyler's mom made a habit when it all started to give them a mug of hot chocolate if they felt dysphoric.

It was a comfort that a lot of people didn't have, but it was one that they were all thankful Tyler had.

Josh let Tyler keep the hoodie when they all headed their separate ways later on that evening.

Josh himself stayed over for dinner and eventually called his mom to tell her that he was staying over with Tyler, because it'd been a bad day for them.

She'd understood and sent her well wishes to Tyler, which gained a small smile from the brunette.

When Tyler's mom checked in on the two at half eleven, she smiled when she saw Josh playing on his phone while Tyler was curled up asleep, head resting on the blue-haired boy's chest.

Josh saw her and gave a small smile, glancing down at Tyler.

He sent a quick message to the others to inform them that Tyler was okay, knowing they were all worried still.

_they're good, asleep now. tell you how morning is x J._

Once that was sent, Josh let himself fall asleep as well, arms resting around his best friend. 


End file.
